This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
