Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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