You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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