people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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