he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
