How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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