Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
