ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
