Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
