I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
