All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize