and you said cock pushups were impossible
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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