he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
