They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize