WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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