We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
