I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
