Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
