Christians are straight up FREAKS
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
