I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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