That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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