this just has baby written all over it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
