He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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