I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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