You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
