Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
