Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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