i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
