Your dad touched me again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
