The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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