She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
