My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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