It was confusing and full of hummus
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
