It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
