No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
