I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
