I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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