im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
