we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
