that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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