I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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