Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
