a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
