Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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