it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize