you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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