I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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