addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I met the friendliest cop last night
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
