Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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