I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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