What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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