I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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