hotel room ftw
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
