4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
