Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
