If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
