What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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