I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
