I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
