So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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