I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
